Beginnings—how deceiving, how much like endings they can feel!
Beginnings, o’, how easily you have fooled me!
A fool, I, no more.
Losses on losses, like showers of life—cold showers,
Whipping against the flesh, washing comfort off,
Washing me off, slow, yet in actuality, teaching the mind
Growth—how subtle are the effects of good chilled.
Death took you from me, along with the comfort
Of you by me, of your warmth on my cold,
Of your presence—a pervading feeling, it ever was.
My heart sheds streams of tears, streams with no end.
You understood much—nature, your words told,
Ever has its way. I mean such.
I mean the emptiness you left in me—I remain unfillable.
I mean the memories of time together—the irreversibles,
The I WISHes, o’, my wishes! How emptier they sound
In my mouth, from my tongue, whipping against my lips—
Reddening them, with teeth, biting teeth in shakes like of cold.
O’, but beginnings are hidden buds, beneath the earth.
They burgeon, they bloom, o’, how beautiful, breathtaking;
They are gentle, o’, so slow, and subtle, their effects are.
Change is a beginning, and change knows no end—
It is growth, upon growth, upon heaps of growth.
It is a journey to walk, a journey to live, a journey to become.
It is a lesson of happiness and of letting go.
“Let go,”—words whispered to my ear, reverberate from aeons ago.
When I look back, I see ties severed and connections built;
When I look back, I see relationships broken and relationships grown.
Life is ever part cruel, and life is every once fairer.
It gifted me a child, a boy—the love of my life.
I am not nearly half as old as you were, or he half as I am;
Beginnings still puzzle me, for the pain of your absence,
Yet stings the very heart that loves, gives, and lives,
With every beat of his, as rhythmical, as eternal.
I miss you. It pervades my heart, this feeling,
And swarms my mind—a feeling, with no end.
Benson Langat is a poet, fiction writer, and freelancer. A dreamer, he realizes a world of possibilities through stories and explores life in poetry. Benie is a dad and lives in Nairobi, Kenya.